Yada, yada, yada....

I know that I keep apologizing for not posting enough, but for those in the know, you know that it's been a roller-coaster year....

Sometimes I chalk up the dumb things that I do to my insecurities and fears. I wasn't always the shining star that you see in photos. ;) It wasn't until the past few years that I really felt comfortable with who I am. I guess that I was the epitome of the ugly duckling.... I was shy, I was awkward... until one day, not sure when really, I realized that I have so much to share. My heart, soul, mind and beauty reach out to old and new friends, wherever and whenever I can find them. There have been some wonderful people in my life who made me the woman I am today. My mother was probably the first. She instilled in me the drive to succeed, to do what makes me happy, and fuck those who don't like it or understand it. (Well, she, of course, would NEVER use that word, but I'm paraphrasing here. ;) But she also taught me the meaning of love... what it means, and what it takes. Growing up in a family of 4 kids with one parent working (my mom went back to teaching when my little sister was a few years old), things were sometimes rough. I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back, the signs were there. There were summers that we didn't go on a vacation. There were Christmases where the gifts were not as plentiful as other years. She taught me that you don't need to shower people with trivial things, gifts, vacations, to show them that you love them. It's through the little, everyday things that you show your love for someone. I always remember the O. Henry story, "The Gift of the Magi," in which a couple both sacrificed their most-prized possessions to purchase Christmas gifts for each other. I read that as a kid, and every once in a while, it comes back to me. I sometimes lose sight of that. I get wound up in the trivial, everyday occurrences and duties, that I forget that there is much more to the world beyond my existence. I forget that my relationships with others are just that - with others. It takes 2 people to form a friendship, a relationship of any sort. Otherwise, it's just stalking. ;) It is not easy for me to admit when I am wrong or when I need help. This goes back, I think, to my insecurities, my fears, my stubbornness. I never think that I'm pretty enough, or smart enough, or talented enough, or really just good enough. My ultimate fear is failure (well, that and bugs!). As a result, I strive to be the best, which is not a bad thing, but in my crazy warped mind, the best don't need help from others, that they can handle things on their own. Foolish of me to think that, I know. But part of me still does. I have some truly wonderful, caring, loving, supportive people in my life. And when you have such incredibly special people who love you just the way you are, love everything about you... who take the goofy with the serious... who wouldn't want you to change a single thing about yourself, you hang onto them. Whatever it takes. :) "Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kids of good weather." ~ John Ruskin xoxo

Mea culpa....

Sorry that I haven't blogged in a while.... As I've said before, sometimes life gets in the way of me doing all these things that I want to do. And for once, it wasn't that I had nothing to write about, I just didn't have the time to sit and write!

So, since my last blog.... I got sick. Then I went out of town. Then I got sick again. And then I moved....

Which brings me to tonight's topic.

Moving - why do we do it?....

Sometimes, it's for an actual reason, being relocated to another city for work or personal life, a change to your personal life like getting married, having a baby. Other times, it's just cuz you feel like it.

Mine was the latter.

I moved to Los Angeles several years ago from Chicago, and lived in the same neighborhood for quite a long time. It was convenient. I liked the restaurants and bars that were nearby. And it was easy to get from home to pretty much wherever in the city I wanted to go.

After many many years of living in the same apartment, really just for convenience at that point, I decided to fuck convenience - I want to live where I want to live. Move to a place that was more me, and had residents more like me too.

So I moved to a completely different area of LA - downtown. Now, if any of you are familiar with downtown LA, it hasn't been a "livable" place for a while. It was full of bums, and crack heads, and rave kids, and prostitutes. There were very few amenities - no grocery store, only 1 gas station, that sort of thing.

But over the past few years, it's really changed. And for the better. There are, of course, still homeless, crack addicts, and prostitutes hanging around, but I don't think it's as prevalent. At least, I don't see it as often as others do. In fact, a friend of a friend moved downtown not far from me, and one of her first nights, she saw these 2 guys, doing it in a parking lot. ;P I never see that around me!! I usually just find the used condoms afterward!

So I wandered into the old place after everything was gone... and I was actually a bit sad about leaving it behind. It was a good place, was perfect as a stepping-stone to living in a city again.

You've all seen bits and pieces of it, as many of my photos, plus those that my photographer friends took, are set there....

I think that Coop was the first, shooting a little girl-girl action with me and Adrianna Nicole....

Then followed closely by James....

Sometime after that, Lou came by...

And Coop shot me solo at home too.... (and I just love these B&W's!!!)

Then Nate was in town from Santa Maria, and we shot on Election Night! (It was such a great nite!) ;)

Then Art came down from Santa Barbara to see me!...

And lastly (for now!).... Mark visited from Santa Maria too.... ;)

So, now that you've seen some shots from the old place, how about one from the new place!! I had wondered who the first would be.... as you know I just like to get naked and shoot. ;)

My good friend, Coop, came by with one of my favorite models, Adrianna Nicole.... But you will have to wait to see those! Sorry - but to make it up to you, here's a teaser, taken during some pre-shoot warm-up skating....

Love you all.

xoxo - S.

Thieves....

Oh Pooh... Really, it's Oh Shit!

So, I get a phone call from Coop this morning, telling me that someone on Flickr has taken photos of me that he shot last year (actually from our very first shoot :), and created a new account, claiming that the photos are of them! The nerve!

I've been on Flickr for about a year and a half at this point, and have come across profiles with made-up personas and stolen photos. How do I know that they're stolen? - I've come across the exact same photos on other web sites. One was a nude pin-up model, and the other photos were from a stock photo site. The fakes have promptly taken down their Flickr pages.

Now, I take what I do very seriously. And for someone to not only steal from a photographer, to steal from a model, is beyond gutsy, if you ask me. Making up a new persona? I actually find it sad and pathetic, really. Stealing my face and my body.... pretending to be someone that they're not. Are they doing this for kicks? Or doing this cause they're a bit crazy? A little from column A, a little from column B, probably.

This isn't the first time that a photographer has had photos stolen... and I'm sure that it won't be the last. I know several who have had their work pop up on other sites, not just Flickr.

I will say this, for as many issues that I have with Flickr, they are very prompt in deleting accounts with stolen photos. Coop has had this happen to him in the past, and once an account gets enough blocks or complaints against them, they're gone - Flickr waves that magic delete button around.

Thanks everyone, for all your support. It really means something to me that you care. Of course, I'm sure that it doesn't hurt that in most of the pics I'm nude. ;)

Musings....

Where do you find inspiration?

I just realized that I havn't blogged in almost a month. I keep meaning to, but each time I log in, and lay my fingers on the keyboard, I just can't type, because either I get side-tracked by something, or I have no idea what I'm going to write about.

Lately, it's been the latter.

I've gotten bogged down... got really sick a couple of weeks ago, and then had to go out of town - and the changing weather doesn't help - it goes from sunny and 70 to rainy and 50. This is all in addition to those normal, everyday things that you've gotta do. It's been an emotional roller-coaster. I know that everyone goes through this, from time to time, but it seems like it hit me really hard.

But I am always on the prowl for something, anything, which I can use as inspiration. So, where does it come from? Doing what I do, I'm so keenly aware of my surroundings and the people I come across. So, by me changing things up, trying to break the routine, I'm hoping to unblock the creativity, and allow it to flow within me.

Partners in Crime ;)

So, been out having fun, maybe causing a bit o' trouble along the way too. ;) This actually helps to keep me sane. I can get too wrapped up in things, that I lose sight of them along the way. Could be a sign of adult ADD or something, but probably more than that, I think that I tend of over-exert myself, take on too much. I like to think that I can juggle everything, get on just by. But it's not necessary - I always have help if I ask for it.

I'm sure that my current lack of creativity has started affecting others too. As I model for other photographers, I am often their muse, their source of inspiration. In fact, I'm sure that you've seen this one by Coop:

Photo and all paintings by Coop

But as it is said, this too shall pass. And I think that it will real soon. I've got a feeling about this sort of thing. By enlisting the help of friends, I can get back to normal. Or at least my version of it. This is how I should be:

Photo by Mark Velesquez

I love you all. Happy belated Valentine's Day. :)

In a Bathroom, Far, Far, Away

As you all know, I've been to Baltimore (or "Ballmore", as they call it - such a cute little accent!) a few times now, and each time, I've ventured out further and further from my hotel. Although the last time, it was only to the nearest pub for a pint!

But this time, I knew it would be different. For a while, I have had a Flickr friend who goes by the name of Bathroom Adventures, as she takes self-portraits in various states of dress - or undress really - in her own bathroom and different bathrooms around the city. I always looked forward to seeing what shenanigans she was up to, and where she went. She never disappointed - the adorable saucy little minx. ;)

So, I had let her know that I would be coming into town, and if she wanted, we could meet up for dinner and/or drinks. And again, she didn't disappoint me.

She picked me up at my hotel, chatting me up the whole while. Truthfully, I was a bit nervous about meeting her! What is she really like? Would she like me? Would we hit it off? You never know, do you?

But she was charming.... a brainy, artistic soul, with a delightful wit... I was enthralled!! We just meshed.... Which is always so nice. Over dinner and drinks, we got to know each other, tell some secrets (which I will never repeat)... We laughed, we got teary... it was a perfect night.

And then... she led me to the bathroom. Oh my! It was one of the coolest bathrooms that I'd seen! The walls were lined with old album covers, from the 70s mostly, and a plastic 4' tall Santa - why not, right?!?

So we fixed ourselves up for some dual self-portaits. And then she led me into the stall, asking me to sit on the toilet, while she straddled me.... (Hmmm... I like where this is going! I thought to myself.) And we started snapping away....

I think that there will be more bathroom adventures in my future.... So please keep watching. xoxo

Crazy week.....

Hey there, boys and girls.

This will be a quick post, but I just wanted to relay some things back at ya all.

First, the holidays. Now, normally I'm off to the Windy City to see family and friends, but this year, I decided to forgo that tradition, and start making some of my own. And frankly, I'm beyond happy that I didn't go there, as it was fucking cold (was -5 degrees one day!!), and I just can't handle that anymore.

So I stayed here in LA, saw some friends, and of course, ate and drank to my fill. I do just love the holidays. But then again, as soon as Christmas came, it went, and it was business as usual again.

Which for me, means shooting. It's funny - sometimes I think that I'm more comfortable without clothes on. A few weeks ago, I left my apartment to run an errand, and it was such a warm day, and the breeze was exhilarating, I just wanted to take off my clothes and walk down the street naked. But I digress....

So Saturday, I went on a field trip with Coop, back to the Salton Sea. He was so intrigued with it, that he had to see it for himself. It was one of the most desolate places I've ever been, and you are lucky enough to get to it, driving through more desolate places. It's so hideous, that it's amazing.

See for yourself....

(photo by Coop)

And so unlike me to burn the candle at both ends, I had a shoot the next morning too. But I take my work, and everything else that I do seriously, so a little bit of coffee, and I was good to go.

Now, Mark is another person that I met eons ago via Flickr and subsequently through Model Mayhem, and we've been teasing each other for a shoot for a long long time!! Each time we almost hook up, something happens. Which is why we were so determined to shoot!

And we did. And we had fun getting to know each other. And Mark takes fantastic photos too. He's such a warm, caring, understanding, fucking funny guy.

So enjoy this one from Mark.... I do.

(photo by Mark Velasquez)

So since you're here, reading this, check out the work from these two talented guys.
Coop's Flickr stream... http://www.flickr.com/photos/coop666/
Mark's censored Flickr stream.... http://www.flickr.com/photos/markvelasquez/
Marks uncensored Flickr stream... http://www.flickr.com/photos/markvelasqueztoo/

You've already been to mine, haven't you?!? ;)

Happy New Year, everyone.

And this wasn't nearly as short as I intended it to be.

The Holidays and All That....

Sorry everyone - it's been a while since I've posted a new blog entry, almost 2 weeks!!.... Things have been a bit crazy lately, and well, sometimes life gets in the way of me doing those things that I really enjoy. C'est la vie!

So, what have I been up to? Those who know me would probably say trouble... to say the least! ;)

I've been busy shooting in between trips elsewhere. After attending a holiday party, and having a few too many shots of tequila, I had 2 shoots back-to-back last Sunday. First, my friend James, who I've modeled for on several occasions, and then later that day with a new friend, one who I had met through Flickr many many months ago, and who I've been teasing him for a shoot, Art Silva. He came all the way down from Santa Barbara to see me, well and several other models in Fontana for a group shoot, but I like to think that he was there for me. I'm a bit selfish that way. ;)

(here's a warm-up pic from Art)

Art's style is so beautiful, so graceful, and I always wanted to shoot with him. So we finally got together, spent the whole afternoon shooting, everything from fully clothed (whoa - I own clothes!!) to more erotic stuff, and even some Christmas erotica. Tis the season, isn't it?!?

So enjoy these few from Art. And please be sure to go to his Flickr page, there's a few more of me floating around.

(a little Christmas tease for you all, courtesy of Art)

After that, I had to run away, all the way to Baltimore. Not that I needed to get away, no one was chasing me... but as I wrote earlier, sometimes real life gets in the way of having some fun. Baltimore is a funny city. I spent much time in the Inner Harbor area, which is quite gentrified, but as I've begun to travel there more frequently, I've started exploring a bit.

My first night there last week, in between the rain, I ventured from my cozy hotel room to the nearest pub. Sometimes you just need a beer. So I chatted up the bartender and his friend (I guess that they didn't mind talking to me! ;), about things to do and places to go in the city. Turns out that there is a huge punk culture - which is right up my alley and my urban roots.

So next time I'm out that way, I'll have to explore a bit. The free spirit in me needs to get out from time to time and breathe some fresh air. And hopefully, I'll be able to run into those friends that I've made through these various websites. :)

Since I've gotten back, it's been business as usual. I spent all weekend shopping for gifts, wrapping said gifts, and shooting. Here's one from my good friend, Coop, taken on Saturday.

(pic by Coop)

Happy Holidays to all of you!! I love you all dearly!

xo - Skye